Birth month

So I continued spotting and now I'm more confused than before. The spotting stopped except for on tp; cramps stopped for awhile too (but then again I took 2 tylenol around 2pm) and now are just coming back. I'm considering changing my chart back to spotting instead of light b/c I'm confused about when AF officially is here. I don't want to rush into this cycle when my body is not ready.

On a different subject DSD is back to calling her mom's boyfriend "Dad" I knew it would happen and it is just the thing that sickens me. She has told us horror stories about how he treats her and just to spite her real dad, she'll call this a**hole dad. She told us about why he's been divorced twice, no one can stand to live it him, deal with him, etc. and now they're moving to El Paso (or like I call it SMELL Paso. What, did he promise to be a good boy on stop knocking her on the head and intimidating her? DSD mom is quite the psycho, what I've termed WWW. The wicked witch of the west. She has her story too, DSD told us many a tale about her tantrums on the side of the freeway etc. Anyway, thought I'd blog that out of my system and now Im done.

Finally I want to end this note with wishes to my dear babyangel girl who would have been born this month. I cried quietly tonight thinking that this would have been the month my first baby was born. A dear daughter whose life we'll never be able to share on this earth, only later. This night made even harder by the fact that I don't have anything to look forward to, at least not yet. Mood tonight; resilient yet pensive and reminiscent.

For now I sit and see you as I always will, my little fuzzy peanut...love, mom.
On the left, you had already left to be in heaven... on the right, the first time Mommy & Daddy heard your little heartbeating....it was a great symphony to mommy's ears.