BAD DREAM

So I woke up this morning devastated, having had a terrible dream....about my little embies. I dreamt that I received a call from the nurse that most if not all of my little embies had either quit growing or had other problems. Result? transfer of 4 blasts....I knew in my dream that transferring so many meant that probably NONE of them were viable. I woke up from that hell and can't shake the idea from my head.

Today I'll be saying lots of prayers for my 15 little ones. I know they are defenseless in that lab, cold and wondering where mom and dad are..

My little ones, stay strong. Mommy and Daddy have been thinking of you daily. Grandma is already coo-ing you all. We love you ALL equally and immensely. God has a plan and YOU are included in that plan..

Love, Mom

Update: I suppose maybe some of my dream was right. The doc walked in, said 4 blasts were normal. and I'm thinking he wasn't all that forthright about everything.... maternal instinct? He said of the 4, one was "questionable" and offered the chance to transfer the 3 instead of 2. I knew it was bad since he was offering to transfer 3 back. He said 2 were possibly still in the running, and if they continued to divide normally, he would freeze those. So as of today, zero left. I'm hoping to have the 2, in case we need them.

Only time will tell. Had the transfer done, 3 blasts. Didn't give me the grade on any of them. Said that the others were all missing a chromosome. 10 of 14 abnormal. We are grateful that we decided to pursue pgd. I'll know in about a week whether I "feel" pregnant. For now, I continue with progesterone, estradiol patches, prenatals. Medrol til tomorrow.

CC