Just when I was convinced that I was pregnant, I wake up at 4 something in the morning needing to pee....my logical side said get up & pee! while my obsessed side said in a smiegel voice no no my precious, must stay in bed, must take temp...so I temped. 98.08 friggin degrees! What is THAT supposed to mean???? I mean, really now...yesterday and the day before were so beautiful....then 98.08 friggin degrees. So what did CC's mind do? Wander aimlessly to the hall closet, pulled out a pack of tp & an HPT and wandered back to the RR. P'd on the stick and waited....blank and more blank...knowing full well that 10dpo is way too early for anything yet allowing it to ran on my parade of 1. I wandered back to bed to fall back into the state of blissful oblivion that I so was enjoying before my bladder rudely awoke me. I awoke again at 6:30 or so, I can't even remember anymore. another temp this time 98.14. Not much of a rebound but I decided it was a keeper, but probably up higher due to getting up and fumbling around with tp and hpt's before getting back to the bed at 5 in the morning.
So, here it is...in all its brutally honest whiteness...


So what I really want to do is go on strike from Blog and FF for a few days....stop and get myself together and hopefully come out of this cycle with my sanity. I really feel now that maybe I am sooo wanting to be pregnant to avoid IVF that I have stooped myself into believing I really am pregnant....or on the brighter side, I am.

Fun fun and more fun

Had a great time yesterday, a mini-family reunion. saw sis's in-laws and family as well. Was a nice gathering. Some pics first Aaron after graduation ceremony, being led out to get his "surprise" graduation gift and finally, him being cajoled into turning around to see his new car!



As for me, same instinctual feeling this morning....hope I don't let myself down! Off to enjoy the weekend! Memorial Day!

Instinct?

I've gotten the feeling, both yesterday and today. Unspoken, innate feeling that I'm pregnant....

DH has been saying "hi" to the baby, it's too cute. He said he'd rub my belly everyday until the baby is born!

Home pic, partial view of the crape mrtyle, sago palm, hedges, monkey grass, azaleas and one of the topiaries on the left. I need to get more color in, somehow. New annuals every season got a big expensive....I bought 3 hanging petunias and placed them out front with the other one hanging by the carport. Red. very bright....



Applied for admissions to HCC. Trying to get in to take the first of my many Real Estate classes, uh 120 hours! Maybe trying for July class....expect to register sometime next week.....

BUMP

thought I'd bump those pics of Qiqi out of everyone's view. Appears someone thought they were disturbing, I agree.

Here's a pic of yours truly with longer locks....my eyes look buggy, sorta like the run away bride who by the way deserves the indictment she received yesterday....not that I don't think she's mentally ill and in need of intervention/treatment, but she definitely does not qualify for any mitigating factors to lessen the severity of what she did, and I believe she should do some time for what she did, a good 6 months would do.


It has come to my attention that someone thinks I may be a little "off" considering the source I give no credence to the proffer. I have fun on this blog, it's mine and do as I please.....If you could see where it came from...my friends, you too, would be I am rock steady and have my feet firmly planted on this rock we call earth! I sorta had to laugh at it, some people have no sense of humor....this world needs an enema.

Along with the pics of DH & I on our 5th wedding anniversary, I found these pics of Qiqi after we brought her home from the ER this week when I went to develop the Baby Shower pics.....



I felt guilty because I had let the pups out and they ran down the street where the neighbors pit-mix was wandering loose. He got ahold of Qiqi. She was protecting her pups. The neighbor a few houses down heard his dog barking and noticed a commotion. He took his bee-bee gun and shot at the pit-mix, thinking he had a duck in his mouth. The pit-mix ran up the embankment with Qiqi in his jaws, and only let go once the second neighbor went over and kicked it. The pit0mix bit at the neighbors tennis shoe and ran when the other neighbor came running behind him with his gun.

These pics don't show behind her neck, which was also bitten pretty badly. It took her over 3 months to recuperate. She got to sleep in our bedroom in her own crate for a while. She cried at night and didn't like it at all. After a while, we let her sleep on the bed with us, and has been sleeping with us ever since.

I am soooo glad that she's a tough one. No other pup would have survived this vicious attack. Good thing was the vet said, was no puncture of the lungs, and he didn't do any nerve damage. Qiqi now runs and plays along with the others normally. The only reminder are scars, some of which have been covered by new growth of hair.

this pic was taken to give the neighbors a "thank you" from Qiqi for saving her life... she still had some pinkness over the area, and the hair hadn't quite grown back yet.

Looking back

I was looking back at my old pregnancy charts, trying to remember back to the way I felt, how my chart looked in comparison to my notes and I recall now, how in disbelief I was at my + hpt that I didn't go to the doctor until I was 24dpo...... officially 10 days late before I thought to see my doc about it. How could I let myself believe that I was pregnant after 9 years of unprotected sex with no pregnancy. WOW. And it was true, I was pregnant. By the time I went in for my bloodwork, I was already 5 weeks 4 days or so...

fatigue has gotten the best of me, more tomorrow.

A blast from the past!

I went to Walgreens to drop off film from the baby shower, including the film I had in my camera (35mm) since God knows when...well I know now that it was from back in the Summer of 2003! I found pics from our Anniversary Dinner, Qiqi's wounds post Attack by the Pit Mix, and even DH's pics from his 25 year High School reunuion.

Pic of me just after opening my anniversary gift, Young-looking here, but I was 34 ready to turn 35! Yikes~ It was our 5th Wedding Anniversary! PS. the neck mark is hot-iron burn, promise!


Together pic!


Gift from him: Manolo Blahnik's!
Gift to him: Movado watch!

It was a nice surprise to see these pics! I haven't really used my 35mm since we got the digital cam. The pics were taken some 20 months ago!

Temp spike today

OK, I know its too early to tell, but I got this huge temp spike today that had me double checking the thermometer! Some backpain, twinges in bbs, and bilateral cramps. Again, way too early but this is my journal tracking my journey and I'm posting these along the way.
I have begun my research into IVF, from beginning to end. All I need from my clinic is their estimated costs. Of course, I am hoping and praying that I don't need to go there, but it is a possibility that I can't ignore.
In addition to the pics yesterday, I have a few more that I just love. I have 3 rolls of film to develop! doing that today 1 hour photo !



And to remember my terrible mistake from last Thursday, I have memorialized my new haircut into pics. About a week ago, I posted a couple of pics of me, not terribly flattering, but me nonetheless. So, here is my hair NOW! I need to get used to styling my hair!!!

BFP or bust

Well, I'm 2DPO and this is it for us! BFP bound or else....Doc said if no bfp, then next cycle I start one month of bcp in preparation for IVF. You have no idea how much I want my bfp this month......not just the money that will be involved in IVF, but the emotional component...it will be more expensive emotionally for me.

On Friday, we had our IUI, with 101 million sperm count. The doc added PAF (platelet activating factor) to help them along. Hoping it worked!

Baby shower was yesterday (Saturday) for my niece, Antoinette! I think it was a success! We had many compliments on everything from the food to the decorations to the party favors. We had an abundance of them all! A select number of pics for the memories!


My feet were in so much pain last night, I thought they'd never stop throbbing. I was soo happy for my niece and nephew. They came home with a lot of gifts, some major items were stroller, high chair, car seat, diaper genie, a whole wardrobe for the baby and lastly, a nice bench, made by hand by my niece's father. It will be inscribed later with the baby's name and date of birth. I have more pics but need to get to Sam's to develop them (35mm) will post more later!!

Note to my future babies

Hi sweeties! Tomorrow, I get to see all of you, my potential babies! 9:20am sharp! I should be ready for my Ovidrel injection to trigger ovulation since I'm already at CD13.

Mommy made all of the food place cards for Cousin Antoinette's baby shower, they'e adorable.
Tonight, mommy plans on finishing wrapping the game prizes, if Daddy's can bring me more scotch tape.

We got new neighbors this month, they're slowing moving in. Today, they started putting up the wrought iron fence. Had already dug the holes for the poles. Hope it looks nice when its all done.

For now, just wanted to say hello to my babies! mommy will see you all tomorrow!

Moi!

oops, my pic got reduced too much, will attempt to repost later


Ok, ew, not the best pic of myself, but we can't always post just the pretty ones huh?

Getting close to Wednesday's scan! All's well, headache remains, what else is new?
Off to watch the Bachelor, Final Rose Live, voting for Chrisily!

Miscellaneous

Nothing much to say, just updating my blog; Last night I had another femara headache and took 2 aleve and knocked out for the night; It's been the same headache, not debilitating, just very annoying. I started a xangwa site, just for kicks. Most who have a xanga site are very young! but i'm never behind on the youth trail! I amy be 36 but I have the heart and soul of a 16 year old.....ok maybe 20....alright already, no older than 25, how's that??? Yes, I remember 25 as if it were just yesterday, all the chatter about being a quarter of a century old.

Yesterday I spent some privilege time with Max, he is just the sweetest knuckle head. He and Qiqi played keep away for a bit. It's nice watching them play.

I made my appt. for my follie scan, it's next Wed. Doc is in surgery Tuesdays so Wednesday my eggs should be nice & big! I'll probably get the trigger right away and have the IUI on Friday.....

Saturday we're going to the Church to see the room where we're having the baby shower. I'll be taking most of my goodies then so I don't have to the tote them the day of.

Aaron is graduating this year?? I really had no idea he was a senior!!! I haven't gotten a senior pic or heard him talk about the usual senior year activities, prom, pics, "senior skip day" etc. Oh well. I wonder if he still plans on going to A&M? He should start his comedian tour asap! He is such a natural.

DH & I are running errands today. Tags for the motorcycle that I couldn't get the other day b/c HEB doesn't sell them if their expired, dry cleaning, nutrition store, then lunch probably (hopefully) at Cabo's. Other than that, its 7 o'clock in the morning and I'll sit here til my butt is numb then get up and shower....

Happy Day

I got up pretty happy today, or should I say excited! I have renewed hope on this journey of mine, the long road to motherhood. I'm on my third day of Femara. Last night, I went out and got some B6, diet green tea and robitussin for DH. He took his robitussin without a fight and THAT is a good thing! I took one B6 pill and drank just a bit of the green tea. It's not the greatest tasting but I can handle it.

This morning our commercials start! I'm excited about it. I plan on getting to work fairly early today, and I'm hoping the commercials will rejuv the office!

Nothing new to report. Spent a good weekend with DH. Saturday night we went to see Comedian Carlos Mencia, he was hilarious but even more so was the dancing midget! I couldn't believe my eyes!

Sunday was nice. We went to mom's and then MIL's. Got home after 5pm and just in time cause the rain came down pouring minutes after we got home. It lasted quite some time. It was nice to be home and not out on the streets.

Well, looks like I'll have a busy month. I've got my Follie Scan scheduled for next Tuesday. The baby shower is NEXT weekend Saturday. Then the following Friday is Aaron's graduation followed by Dinner @ Pappasito's. Then Memorial Weekend! The first weekend of June we're spending with primo in the valley and DH has a hearing on Monday, June 6th! I hope to have time to go over to Mexico and buy do-dads and some decorations/etc. Will see.

Gotta run for now, need to shower & ready myself for work! I know today is going to be a Happy Day!

To infinity & beyond!!!

Nothing exciting to report here; I've done all I could do for this cycle, it's on to the next....with many changes planned. DH and I have decided one more round of Femara and then on to stronger medicine, most likely IVF. I need to shore up alot of our resources to make sure we have all $$ that we need.
I am so exhausted this evening, having spent the better part of the day in the car running errands, raiding all the wal-mart & dollar stores for inexpensive gift prizes, wrapping paper & bows for the baby shower. I've done a pretty good job so far *if I should say so myself :)* Some of the prizes for the games we'll be playing! First pic are birdhouses that I got for a buck! 2nd pic is a photoalbum, I replaced their pic with a nice baby shower thank you to whoever wins the prize. The third pic is an address book that looks like bootleg Anne Geddes :) pretty though. Got all 3 at Dollar General for $1.00! I have tons of magnetic notepads, potpourri bags, candles etc. I now have over 50 prizes to give away, I'm pretty sure no one will walk out of there without a prize ~!





Tired so this post is not only going to be boring, but brief! Good night. I can't even finish this post I'm so darned tired.

My Big Fat Bleak Negative

Enough Said

My niece

Well, yesterday we did alot of Baby Shower planning, except once again ordering the cake was not successful. The lady was so busy we didn't get to talk to her again! An artist at work! So, after a long afternoon of crafts, we finally stopped & ordered pizza. I remembered to take pics of Antoinette, so here are a few!




She's due July 22, 2005 so that makes her about 28 weeks or so??? Have to look that up! Anyway, so we wrapped the centerpiece gifts & cut out the game pieces etc. I tried making the rest of the favors but got caught up in the tiny bow that goes in the middle! Made the "did you say 'baby'" necklaces and got a lot of things in order for the Big Day!

Today we're taking MIL to have Brunch for her birthday which was Wed. Then some grocery/sundry shopping. Will be home rest of the day cleaning/mopping/washing etc. Can't wait til Thursday!