Haute Mom to Twin boys!

no more blues~11/14/06 BLUE 04/17/06

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Location: H Town, Texas, United States

38 y/o married to my best friend since 9/12/1998; We met in 1992. Married in 1998; I'm a '91 graduate of the Univ. of Houston. Working on Masters degree in French Literature when I met the love of my life! He was in law school. I left my job in 1996 to work w/him when he opened his Law firm. Married in 1998. Working on our "family" diligently & actively since June 2004; 2 miscarriages, one Sept 2004 and another Dec 2004; Break from TTC per doctor's orders in Jan 2005; resumed family planning once all genetic testing was completed. March 2005 BFN; April 2005 BFN! May 2005 BFN! June 2005? Doc had "the" talk with us, if no bfp this cycle, it's on to IVF --test tube baby for us? maybe! Update: July 2005 underwent 1st IVF cycle, with SUCCESS! We conceived two beautiful little boys, born March 30, 2006 via emergency c-section. I am now wallowing in the joys of early motherhood. That is, lack of sleep, fatigue. My compensation? Smiles from the babies in the middle of the night... 11/14/2006: Babies are now 7 1/2 months old and I couldn't be more happy!

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Ultrasound

Today, no more spotting (so far!) Ultrasound this morning at 9am!

Very excited....our future....at least how many babies we have in there, will be known in about an hour....

BB later this morning for an update.


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Update: So I know I'm pregnant, it's official! Got to see a nice little sac, measuring right on time.

The news here today is, the doc thinks that there is another sac, but said it could just be fluid too. So, the wait is on for the next 2 weeks for the next ultrasound, when we'll be seeing heartbeat(s) and updated baby (ies!) He said he'll know for sure by then!

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The questionable area is between the word "sac" and the "+" sign on the left. Baby B could have been in a different position, causing him/her to look oblong. Or it could be as the doc said, "fluid" Me? I'm just happy to be pregnant at all!

I have alot going on in there, lots of cysts, overstimulated ovaries and fluid left and right....hence the "messy" look of the ultrasound! And talk about being anxious for the scan! Our appt. was at 8:55am. We didn't get in the room til 9:30am and then waited another 20 minutes before the doc came in! I was terribly anxious, meditating right there on the exam table just to get myself under control.

Me, Feeling good but tired. Feeling very blessed with todays news.

Hubby: Happy Happy Happy. Calling out Ollie Ollie Oxen free ---to Baby B, telling him to come out! :) He's too adorable.

Next scan for me is just around the corner. I've got a Holiday weekend coming up to keep me busy. Next Thurs & Fri we'll be in Austin for a CLE for hubby. Maybe will make a weekend of it. (Need to Board for the pups and find a babysitter for the cat) and Monday Sept 12th, is oue 7th Anniversary! So I'll have my mind on that, trying to find the perfect gift for a perfect husband, best friend, daddy-to-be.....Then 3 more days and voila! Time for the next ultrasound! Meanwhile, I'm continuing to track the little pupa(s) progress.....oh and my newest of hobbies, making Dollz....

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c

Monday, August 29, 2005

5 weeks

Pregnant until proven otherwise...Image hosted by Photobucket.com

5 wks: Baby is the size of a Sesame seed
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The embryo becomes three layers. The outer layer becomes the brain, nerves, and skin. The placenta becomes fully functional.
The middle layer becomes the bones, muscles, blood vessels, heart, and sex organs.
The inner layer becomes the stomach, liver, intestines, lungs, and urinary tract.

Mommy to be:
More spotting this weekend, this morning, cramps all weekend. Backache; very super tender bb's; still OHSS, although I'm down to 134lbs. now; super tired all the time;

Daddy to be: Taking care of me well, took me to get some clothes that fit; Still keeping the faith; Has taken over household chores for mommy-to-be; Feeding the troop. Still is the only one to change the kitty litter; putting my socks on for me when I can't reach (OHSS has me pretty bloated!); making me breakfast....always a jewel.

Spoke to Uncle Bobby yesterday (Sunday) He's going through training camp; says its hard. "it's for young guys" He's 40, after a 20 year career in the Marines, he retired and is now undergoing the training for the Sheriff's Department. He is in great shape & very stubborn, so for him to say its hard & for young 'uns, I know he means it. Still haven't told him. He's the one that coined the term "test tube babyyyyyy" when someone does something dumb.....hmmmm... how will I ever tell him? LOL

Edited to add: Todays' beta number: 2,585...doubling nicely and as expected. 1st ultrasound is Wednesday @ 9am--squeezing me in before the doc leaves on vacation@
c

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Week 4

This week, our little one(s) is/are the size of an Appleseed.....This week, our little one(s)is/are beginning to develop a face, though it still looks outworldly. The baby's head, body and sac are the same size. Earlier this week, our bab(ies) went from blastocyst(s) to embryo(s).

This week: I've felt tired and very bloated/swollen from the OHSS. Some dry heaving/nausea, spotting & tender (.)(.)'s. Betas this week rising, doubling time approx. 41 hours between each beta.

Pics this week:

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Other significant events this week:
a) Qiqi's birthday was Thursday, August 25th, she turned 4
b) Received a very thoughtful gift from a FF, a pregnancy journal to keep track of my thoughts, test results, baby's growth etc.

This week Daddy-to-be was unable sleep two nights thinking of the possibility of triplets! His thoughts are, he wants all three! 2 boys and 1 girl!
Daddy talks to my belly everyday and communicates the little ones feelings to me through him. Cute already. He puts his head to my belly and says "helloooooo in thereeeee" Totally cute!

C

Friday, August 26, 2005

Beta 766

My beta is 766---inches closer to the much needed 1,000 to be able to get in to get my u/s to see how many little boogers I've got baking in my oven! If the numbers double as they should, I'll be over 1500 by Sunday making Monday's beta closer to 2000! Then I'll get my appt. for the 1st of many ultrasounds! Although before I wanted my ultrasound to be Thursday now I'm hoping I'll get one as early as Tuesday! If not, Thursday will do...I wish I could remember the days Dr. G sees his OB patients...haven't been one since 2004!~

Can't wait can't wait!

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I started this IVF journey with a pic: I'm still on this road to motherhood...
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Beta banominom!

Going in to get more bloodwork done this morning; Currently, betas are rising as needed: 147 on Monday; 349 Wednesday. Todays beta should be 650 or higher per the nurse!

Yesterday we didnt get to take Qiqi on her birthday ride around the neighborhood. She LOVES going for rides & that was supposed to be her b-day gift. I took some pics of her and her "man" too cute!

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And lastly, in this pic, I kept calling her name and she wouldn't look at me! Spoiled rotten!
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On another "front" I pulled on an old one piece this morning to take a pic of my belly> As of this morning, it hasn't gone down much. and I weighed myself, up another pound and a half.....ho hum! Hardly any boobs, but plenty of belly! View these pics with the Destiny's Child song in your head "I don't think you're ready for this [b]elly!"
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Update lataz on the betaz!

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Qiqi is 4!

Happy Birthday to my little best friend! Qiqi! is 4 years old today!

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Qiqi at about 8 weeks old!

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Qiqi & Simba

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Qiqi and her favorite man....we fight about this all the time. :)

I can't begin to say how much love we have for this little 4 paw. She has filled a void in our lives that we have had, and will continue to do so. Bith Eloy and I believe she has extraordinary senses, knows when we're down, just when we need a "kiss" and when to leave us alone (whistle whistle)

Happy 4th Birthday to our little furbaby! You are a ray of light in our days, everyday!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

this is so not funny

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Compliments of OHSS, I've gained 11.5 lbs since last Friday!

I'm too sexy for my blog, too sexy for my blog.....so sexy it hurts.....

Off the ride

This morning:

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Monday, August 22, 2005

So this is what an emotional rollercoaster feels like

So, this morning, I got up at 4 a.m., said to myself, self, test so you can show Hubby the "pregnant" sign on the test, you know, like yesterday's test. Wake him up with a huge hug and then show him the test...Off I went, to tee tee on a stick like in the good ol' days....(up)

Opening the wrapper without making a lot of noise takes practice. But I managed to pry that little piece of gold out of its Fort Knox wrapping and get the thing in "midstream" before it was too late. While I set the test down waiting for it to work its magic, I sat there and waited as the test blinked and blinked and blinked, indicating it was processing my "sample" and would give me the results in just a few....(up)

So as I sat there, staring at the blinking test, I refused to take my eyes off of it. I stood up, staring at it, eyes blurring from the tears welling up until I finally had to blink. More waiting, more blinking and then panic started to set in. All this friggin' blinking was goin on and no friggin' words appearing. Before I lost my patience, FINALLY, words appeared on the screen "see leaflet" (down)

WTF I thought? See leaflet? NO I wanna see test window with "pregnant" just like yesterday, try again, I'll wait! Much to my chagrin, it insisted for me to "see leaflet" Darn it, last test and I have to go see leaflet and I didn't wanna go see friggin leaflet!

I thought to myself, what did I do wrong, I clicked on the "eject" button, and out came the test....not enough pee? too much pee? what is wrong with you! Of all times to tell me to see leaflet! I didn't wanna see leaflet, but I did anyway. It was like being sent to the principals office

So I "saw leaflet" and still had questions. .(further down)
What went wrong? was yesterdays test a fluke? Was this "see leaflet" sign telling me that the test(s) in the box were damaged goods, including yesterdays "pregnant" sign??? Aw hell, now I've got to run out and get more tests. that's it, investing in more as soon as I get ready for work.

Of course I couldn't go back to sleep after that, so I stayed up, went to the kitchen and wandered aimlessly, set the dishwasher, fed the cat, pet the dog, sat on the couch in a dumbfounded stupor.... Bloated like a freak, I decided to weigh in, 137 pounds! I had gained 2 more pounds in 24 hours, making that a total of 9 pounds since Friday. Ok, that's enough, I'm calling the doc today, and I'm getting seen!

Fast forward...called the nurse. Hey, just checking in, called the doc Saturday, blah blah blah gained 4 lbs. blah blah then 3 lbs. blah blah then 2 more lbs. blah blah. OK, she said, he needs to see you, when can you come in?

Me: "30 minutes"

I was getting up there as fast as I could. One quick call to the hubby and I was out the door, picking him up and on the road before I knew it. I stopped at the front and got out, and let Hubby park the car, our usual routine.

In the patient room by 10am, the nurse weighed me in: 139 lbs. (now, when I first started IVF on July 28th, the doc weighed me in at 135lbs.) BUT! I reminded the nurse, I had started my diet with Fred (nutrtionist) and had lost about 7 lbs.) so taking that into consideration, I had gained more than the next 4 lbs. that my chart was showing) yea right...Undressed from the waist down and waiting for the doc to make his entrance, Hubby and I made smalltalk. Before long *thank God* in walked the doc and said "lets' see if its as bad as you indicated over the phone" Uh yeah, bloated to the point of weeble wabble but I don't fall down, yes!

He measured my waist, and then did an u/s. He showed me the "cul de sac" full of fluid, he said about 1/2 a quart. (Uh, feels like a gallon but whatever). Bottom line, if he were to drain the liquid, my ovaries would just see that as an opportunity to make more fluid. Said that this should go away in about a week or two (A week or two???) Yes a week or two, and considering that hCg (the pregnancy hormone) usually causes the OHSS, he said he thinks it was wonderful news that I had OHSS, which he officially diagnosed as "moderate" (I glanced over at Hubby and he was there giving me the thumbs up-my very own personal cheering section) Doc G explained the symptoms of severe OHSS and said if I near that point, then to call again. Meanwhile, we was ordering the b/w --quantitative pregnancy test, estradiol, progesterone, CBC and metabolic something or other. The results of the estradiol/progesterone would let them know if they should adjust my medicine (the vivelle patches/prometrium that I'm still on) The CBC & metabolic--I have no idea. Pregnancy test was self-explanatory.

While I sat there feeling like I had exaggerated the morning, I listened to the doc, who ended the visit with a "congratulations, I think" Wha?

In disbelief, I got dressed again and hubby and I walked out to checkout, made a check out for $25.00 for today's copay and then mentioned to Hubby that before I came
up, the check-in registrar had me go see "Kim." "Kim" is short for "Put up or shut up", the financial person in charge of collecting for IVF. Oh yea, I remembered, I had to go pay Kim the rest of the money. How much, he asked, $1525.00. I know I know, more out of pocket expenses... We had had a chat earlier about that, IVF being worth the price if we ended up preggers. Hubby reminded me that most couples get pregnant for free. Gee thanks hon! I thought, maybe we should be pregnant with all 3 for the price we paid! (errr ummm, kidding)

Anyway, back to work, we had to explain to the staff exactly WHY I looked 4-5 months pregnant. We explained it with a simple, I'm bloated and I went to the doc this morning. I had so many looks of shock and aw. Abby was hilarious, shaking her head, "I've never seen that in my life" shaking her head. I couldn't wait for lunch time since that meant that I was going to get to run to the drugstore and pick up a box of HPT to hold me over while I waited for the "official" results from the doc (makes senses doesn't it???) No.

Ok, so I had to pick up my 2 prescriptions and some gatordade. While I was there I thought, why not just grab a box of hpt's, you know, since I was 'there'.

Perfect, home before Hubby to get lunch ready, I'll run and pee on a stick again! Just like my intentions this morning. And when he gets home, I'll have the results for him and I'll get that "image" of me showing him the test and us hugging, just like in the movies, just like in the commercials!

Off I ran with my secret box of gold, under my arm while I undressed and made my way to the bathroom. After all that excitement, I peed.... like a drippy faucet. Barely there. Not enough to raise the water bill too much if it dripped like that all month. Oh well, that's ok, the same thing happened with Sundays' digital....So there i went again, waiting. Except this time, I ran to the study and looked at the time. Ok, the countdown had begun. I've got 2 minutes.....meanwhile, I'll check my email.
Nothing, a big fat negative. No "light" line to speak of, no almost a line, not even an evap line. I was crushed. I began to sweat profusely and kept eyeing the test, as if it was going to change courses any second. Nothing.

Crushed and in disbelief, I quickly went where I had dreaded going this very morning, to "see leaflet" maybe it could shed some light on this ahem, negative result. Not helpful. Next, I went to Old Faithful, www.peeonastick.com, there I've always found a plethora of information on every hpt known to man *or to me, at least* and researched the writings on the EPT (+ or -) All I got from there was that there had been complaints of false POSITIVES. False positives? No way? How about falst negatives? Especially after having a "pregnant" recording on another brand of test. Maybe this EPT just wasn't as sensitive as the ClearBlue I had done Sunday. Yeah, that's the ticket. But only 15units difference and all of a sudden, a big fat negative? no way! I didn't even believe my own baloney.
Ok, so, here I sat, one big fat positive *no questioning the "pregnant" test right?* and one big fat negative (question question question). It was still too early to call the nurse for my beta results, it was only 1pm.

Ok, so enough rattling on: this is a pic of what I stared at for hours on end, hoping to see a + sign, and failing to get even an imaginary one to appear
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Devastated, I walked to the kitchen to prep lunch. Hubby would be home soon, and it was all I could do to muster up the strength to act normal. He was home within minutes and soon we were having lunch. I was able to stay quiet by stuffing my mouth with food, and letting out a few mmmm's in between. I didn't want to have to speak.
Finally, after lunch, I belted out with "I'm scared" Hubby asked "why?" Of course, I pretended that the BFN had not just happened and said "waiting for the test results" Hubby reassured me, its ok. In the back of my mind, I thought, no, I remember our conversation from earlier where you said that most couples get pregnant for "free" Here, we had shelled out over $12,000.00 and could possibly end up with empty arms.
To my delight, he said "is there any reason we need to go back to work" NOOOOOOO! I yelled and screamed inside, NO earthly reason at all. My safety net came to the rescue, no work means I could get on the computer and obsess on every website I could manage to google up about the &*)^%$#@!) EPT company to see if any other women had gone through what I had. "Not that I can think of" I shot back after a quick silence. hmmmm.....I went to the study and picked up the test, still a stark BFN, no wiggle room, still didn't need to pee, so I couldn't test again. When I got back, "guess who" was asleep on the couch, resting comfortably. I lay down on the other side and somehow, I fell asleep. I woke to him placing my chenille throw over me, and kissing me on the forehead, he was going back to work. He said, stay home, get some rest. "OK" I thought, yea right, now that I'm awake I'll just go back to obsessing. But for some reason, I didn't do that, I turned the TV off and went to the bedroom, cell phone in one hand, throw in the other. I went to take a longer nap.

It was all I could do to escape reality...If I'm asleep, I can't think about it, plus, it helps pass the time. It was 3:30pm, still too early to call the nurse.

Woke upa t 4:34pm, hold toledo bat man! It's almost quitting time! I quickly dialed the digits (Ok, I pressed redial) and on the other end, Renee. The phone conversation went SOMETHING like this:

Hi Renee! This is CC Gaitan!
Hi CC.
Hi, I'm calling to check on todays' results
Um, your chart is on Dr. Gunert's desk waiting for dictation then it'll go to Toni so I won't get it til tomorrow....was there something that D.r G said he needed you to do today?
Well, I'm waiting on the results of the pregnancy test, and he said based on the results of the progesterone/estradiol, he may need to adjust my meds.
Oh! I didn't check to see if it was positive or negative, let me go see if I can check that for you, hold on.
Hold...................................I swear it was like 5 minutes ...............
Ok, CC, are you ready?
Of course, yes.
You're pregnant. But its really early still
What is the beta number?
157.
Ok, good. So I guess I'll just wait for Dr. G to review the results and you all will let me know what to do next? you'll call me?
Yes, we'll call you,
OK, thank
Congratulations,
Thank you.

Hmmmm.....I don't know if it came through there, b/c I forgot some of the conversation, but the gist of her initial reply was that I was going to have to wait til tomorrow...thank God *again* that I didn't have to wait til tomorrow. I'd a been a nervous wreck.

So this is what an emotional rollercoaster feels like? I'll stick to my news channels, courtTV, novels, exercise, work and enjoying life. No drama or amusement parks needed, with a day like today who needs soap operas or Astroworld?

Sunday, August 21, 2005

We're pregnant

We're pregnant....we are pregnant.

The only question left is, pregnant with how many? Having transferred 3 blastocysts back, it could be anywhere from 1 to 3....it could be 2 boys and 1 girl, 2 boys, a boy and a girl, just a boy, or just a girl....only time will tell. The fact is, we've been blessed with a pregnancy...

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We still have a long road ahead of us, a road that will no doubt be filled with many twists and turns. In the end, though, I hope the road ends where it began, in our hearts, except this time, our hearts will have made room for the love of our newest addition(s) to the family....

Saturday, August 20, 2005

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So, this is an edit to update my journey. I called the doc this morning to let them know that I had gained 4lbs. in one day and abdomen was severely distended etc. Well. The Doc called back and said that is a good sign. Keep drinking tomato juice, gatorade, no more water. I cried. I cried. and I cried.

Off to get gatorade....my first purchase as a possible pregger woman!

Friday, August 19, 2005

B is for Bloating

I am SO bloated. Enough said.




























































OK, maybe not enough said, but I am very bloated. Painful, can't help myself, waddling, hard to "wipe" after tee-tee'ing bloated (TMI but oh well). My belly/waist has grown to 36 inches I don't know what to do!

Pics of "the belly" don't really even begin to tell the story.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.comThese were taken yesterday. I called the nurse today and she said (in a nutshell) to drink tomato juice. Being the good girl that I am, I raaaaaaaaaan out and got 3 bottles of V-8 (not the itty bitty cans, the 12 or 16 oz, whatever) and drank 2 of them. I've still got the 3rd that I need to down but Ugh! the saltiness is just wayyyy too much for me. Result: Nada, nil, nothing, nunca! (sp?) Should I bother with the 3rd bottle? Uh, no! How about gatorade! I'll try that next. Hubby is taking me to Walgreens to pick up some pics th I'm having developed so I'll pick up some hatorade while I'm there. Oops, errr, ummm. I mean gatorade.

BTW, looking back at that 2nd pic, you can barely see my vivelle patch (they're see-through but you can see the outline from the lint on them-LOL!)

Today, took more pics, still don't really tell the story of my pain. And to think, If I am preggers, I'm really only about 3 weekd 5 days
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that is just a sick sick pic of me, and to think I'm broadcasting it for the world to see....HI!
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Well, such is the tale of my 6th day post blast transfer. Hubby thinks its gone down some, from the pic it kind of does feel like it, 'cept that I'm still measuring 36 inches at the waist, same as yesterday....I want my waist back (or not, if I'm preggers!)

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

That's what friends are for...

Yesterday I had the most amazing transformation of mind/thoughts I could have ever thought I'd ever have.

Having had a terrible weekend in the wandering mind department, I received an email from a FFriend to see how my IVF-Blast transfer had gone. I immediately closed the email and thought to myself, I can't answer, too afraid to put into writing all of these thoughts and emotions that I'm sure will overflow. I gathered my thoughts, and suppressed them, sat on them, suffocating them until they were motionless.

I had been wanting to call my nurse to see about the grade of my baby-blasts from Saturday. I took my phone and walked to my office and dialed, voicemail. I paced around and dialed again, voicemail. I went back to the front offices and sat at my "temporary" desk. This is the same temporary desk I've been sitting at for about a year since last August 2004. For some reason, I get more work done at that desk than in my office. I returned to my email and mustered up the strength to email her back.

I tried to sound excited but of course the first thing I typed was how I just knew that there was something wrong with my baby-blasts since the doc had transferred 3. I continued, trying to sound positive but before I knew it I was whining about how I was stressing in places where I didn't even know I had places. I ended the tortuous email by asking how she was doing with her pregnancy (she's an IVF-PGD success and my greatest inspiration!) I pressed send and took back to the task at hand, work.

Before long I received an email back! STOP STRESSING she said! She explained her exact situation, same thing only different. Abundance of eggs, blasts, PGD with only 4 normal ones, just like us. She added some humor to the mix and before I knew it I had a smile on my face. Hope had arrived in a matter of minutes. I emailed her back again, huge thank you's from all the places where I had said I didn't know I had places. All the tension of the last 48 hours had dissipated, no more pain.

I spent the rest of the day taking care that I didn't do any bending or squatting at work or at home while feeding the troop, petting the cat, cleaning etc. The glimmers of sunshine that had broken through my fog filled mind contented me for the rest of my day and evening. Last night was the first night since last Thursday that I didn't use the massager to whittle down the mountain of nerves bundled up in my neck and shoulders. I spent the evening rejoicing in my home, my husband and in my future children....

We are pregnant. We are pregnant, until proven otherwise! Eloy and I have even allowed our minds to wander into the hectic future life of ours filled with babies, diapers, sleepless nights and onward.

All of this and thanks to a wonderful friend with a special spirit who never fails to lift my spirits when I need it most. THAT'S what friends are for.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Thoughts

Today school starts, can't wait to wake up our little ones for school and share the excitement with them.

Even if I'm not pregnant this time, I know it will happen sometime in the future. We have an asweome RE, certified IVF lab, great response to IVF meds, lots and lots of follies which resulted in lots and lots of eggs, and many fertilized and a good number of normal blasts. Even if not this time, some time soon. Plans are to start next IVF cycle IMMEDIATELY if this one is a no go. Plans are to stimulate more follies, hopefully the doc will give me an increased dosage amount, retrieve, fertilize, ICSI, PGD and then thaw the 2 from this weekend, add those to the bunch and try try again. We are not giving up no matter how many tries it takes! I keep repeating to myself
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There's nothing standing in the way of getting pregnant. The doctors have addressed every area and even PGD has sifted through the abnormal embryos and selected only the normal ones for transfer. I've always had a great lining, great progesterone levels and nothing else to hinder my getting pregnant. No lining issues, no other fibroids etc to get in the way. Both tubes are there and open. We're getting pregnant, that's all I have to say!